my art.

can i tell you something ,
its not a secret,
i see it as a new beginning,
hey a fresh start,
something i like to call art.
art as in not the drawings.
art as in the writings.
art can be considered everything.
it depends how you want to express it.
i express my art..
through my heart.
it flows ,
my flow is very slow,
but w/ a steady beat.
it goes bump bump bump.
something i like to call amazing.
my flow tends to mess up at times.
i never understand why? ..
i seem to be stuck w/ the same answer everytime.
and thats ..
just me expressing my art once again .

think about it.

you ever been called fake?
i mean honestly who hasn't ..
but YET again, there has to be a reason RIGHT ?

ok .. so i have done some fake things in my life,
but i learn from my mistakes.
and you can't sit here and read this and say you have not !

anyway as i was saying,
people can be phony in different situations.

like this one ..
um .. ever had someone try to be your friend .. REAL CLOSE..
just to get CLOSE to what you GOT?
.. i have.
you have.
maybe you never noticed?
maybe you never acknowledged the fact that this is capable of happening.
but yet, it is.
its bad.
that's bad.
.. who does that?
now i haven't.
you have to be real with someone if this is the case.
and tell them you want "so & so" ..
it makes you look bad
because maybe that person isn't STUPID.
and can notice what you are doing.

are you slow?
you want to loose a friend over what?
stupidness.
if you want happiness?
& the person already found happiness in what they already got.
then why ruin it?
makes you look bad.
you look little.
=/

real little.
grow up.
everyone got older.
this isn't for drama.
this is for advice.
stop making your self look as tiny as your pupil is.
and that is small.

but YET think about it.

what are you?!

I don't feel like writing about love.

I want to write about something .. hm DiFFERENT . .
ya know that word? D i F F E R E N T.
i made the "i" smaller than the rest of the letters because ..
you CAN NOT be DiFFERENT without being Independent="i"

I mean .. a lot of people ARE NOT.
honestly being DiFFERENT includes being yourself.
if you don't act yourself, and act like somebody..
hm i wonder what you got?
just a fake life.
..walk around fake,sit down fake, breathe fake air etc.
and I'm serious.

whats the point?
i thought people should act their selves.
but YET i lie, because there are SO MANY followers its ridiculous..
honestly this isn't twitter.
this is life.

right?
or wrong?
.. could i be wrong?
is everyone a duplicate of another person?
>>i wonder if i am.
wait i know I'm not.
.. I'm sure I'm not.
100 percent sure.
are you?
..look in the mirror .
you may not think you are if you look at yourself.
cus i mean who looks like you?
except you?
but YET how about your insides?
..your actual pride?
are you proud of who you are?
is another person your cure?
cure to life?
.. hm i wonder.
do you wonder?
..

bestfriend.

im bored.
i start to write.
i turn my head.
my phone starts to ring.
its you.
nope.
i lied.
its my friend.
i say hello.
and then i hear goodbye.
why?
i can't even hear any other words.
you aren't my bestfriend.
you're more than that.
like my sister.
i miss you.
but yet i hate you because you aren't here.
you're not even near.
not even on punishment or etc.
where could you be?
why did you leave?
why'd you have to go so far?
i miss you my love.
you know everything about me.
along with the others.
the 3 others.
i love them too.
but i see them constantly.
but you are no where near me.
can you call sometime?
tell me how you are doing?
tell me you miss me too?
or do you have to go?
go again.
now go.

first choice.

im next to you.
i don't know if you like that feeling or not.
i think you want me to go away.
wait why can't i just stay?
its not your decision .
to make me go in another direction.
am i right ?
or am i wrong?
maybe i just like this feeling.
cus i haven't seen you in a minute.
i miss us.
no wait maybe i just miss you.
i can't stand..
how we are distant from eachother.
but maybe YOU can.
haha remember are times?
all of our times?
the fights.
the makeups.
the misery.
but the love.
maybe the trust.
definitely the lust.
i think i should leave you alone.
you have alot of females wanting to be on that throne.
with you.
i had my chance.
and i don't think i do anymore.
but you were my heart.
my sweet-heart.
you had me complete.
but this is the last time we shall meet.
meet eye to eye.
not voice to voice.
i love you boy.
remember you were always my first choice.

emotions run wild.

you look so good today boy, really ;
hm. . i just wonder should i tell you , or keep it to myself.
i love you.
no i hate you.
i love you though.
but i can't stand you.
i want to kiss you, but this wall between us won't let me.
funny i see you from a distance.
I'm surprised, goodness I'm very interested.
i want you to see me.
wait never mind i don't.
I'm scared, i just hope i don't blush.
wait maybe i will just walk by.
maybe say hi.
you're alone this is the perfect time.
I'm ready.

so i get up.
i seem to be stuck.
I'm standing can i move please.
i see you looking dead at me.
I'm frozen,
this is bad!
worse than that.
i miss you.
but i see that other girl kissing you.

jibberish.

first you talked to me, i was excited . actually enthusiastic. you made me smile, w/ your sweet voice, had me thinking there was more to us than what we have now. I liked your smell, made me feel like there was no hell .. you were my heaven. I gave you a kiss right on your cheek, you told me i was special. we spent every moment together, i was even the first one to tell you "i love you" , you took it as if it was real, and which it was i loved you more & more we spent time together. i wanted you w/ me. never no one else. i have mixed emotions towards you though, i can't help that I'm still shy around you, its just the way you make me feel. I act my self, you take it as if its the real deal . next thing you know a couple years later .. and you're gone. Ever felt this way? sure you have. mixed emotions are horrible, anybody that amazing .. leaving you . can make you feel lost,sad,disappointed,zoned out.. and etc. what a horrible feeling .