I exited left right out that door.

Its time to run,
sorry love,
its not hard for me to say goodbye anymore,
I had to jet,
babe i exited left,
right out that door.

You used to affect me,
every last thing you did made me sad,
sorry but i can't be mad,
you thought i cared so much,
but its funny because we lost touch,
i can't feel the same way if there is no connection anymore,
I had to jet,
babe i exited left,
right out that door.

Ask me if I am hurt,
I am going to say "NO!"
please don't text and call my phone,
I'm done,
I'm gone,
babe I exited left right out that door.

The way I .

Yes , of course thats me .. this photo is not something thats really that deep. The way i show myself may come off a little strange , but everybody is fine with it by atleast hm .. the end of the day. I tend to not smile, if i don't have a reason .. I'm not here to do anything o so pleasin. I don't walk with a mugg, thats not the right thing to do .. but trust me I will not look at you. I will turn my head .. as if you weren't there . . or maybe if your lucky give you a blank stare. I'm not used to being one the best, I like to be the opposite of the rest.

get it ?

i don't smoke.
nor do i drink.
im not high off of what used to be our love.
or wasted over what used to be us.
i walked away.
came back.
our love wasn't my drug.
but it was my habit.
a habit i heard was something people kept doing.
well to me we were a bad habit.
and i kept doing what i don't have.
get it?
from my point of view,
we were something..
but to you,
it was just a "thing."
you weren't my favorite.
you weren't my first love.
you weren't something just to be there.
you weren't just my love.
you were def. my bestfriend.
i don't like the fact that this is happening.
but i have to learn to leave what isn't happening.
get it?
we weren't meant to be,
but we just didn't happen.
there was something there .. ever since.

as you asked.

let me think where i stand.
with you.
... far.
... away.
isn't that really,
you know distant?
what happened to being close.
and personal.
what happened to feeling loved?
and not pitiful.
guess where i am?
next to you.
you're thinking about someone.
why is your heart beating so fast?
are you afraid this won't last?
as long as we have asked?
asked who?
asked ourselves.
are you scared us won't stay together.
or am i?
i told you where i stand.
and to me its too far.
and i can't even hear you anymore.
im telling you, baby im right here.
right next to you,
whispering in your ear.
telling you sweet stories.
i want you to have the best of me.
STOP! stop it now.
i don't like this sound.

the sound.

please stop.

I'm gone.

leaving.

... far.
... away.

all I'm doing , is what you have asked.

needs.

ok ok we are at the end of this rode,
i think i found what i am looking for,
you lovin me, touchin me ..
what you tryn find,
something that you tryna label "mine"
you know what i mean yours,
open up something that has locked doors,
you knock i answer,
maybe you should come in,
something exclusive shall be your present,
you think you deserved it,
you really really wanted it,
why not take what you need?
it don't feel so good when you wanna stop.
hm i wonder what you thinkin,
it seems like this aint really workin,
you wanted it so bad,
man now it dont feel right?
what kinda **** you on?
i thought tonight was "our" night.
i guess not,
i think you feel bad,
drive to the end of our path,
this is our past,
i want a new future,
im done w/ you boy,
cus i see your ugly feature,
thats inside, not out..
amazing ? nope i doubt,
you aren't it,
you couldn't wait a little bit,
you were determind to hit,
but remember who you dealin wit,
someone too bright,
i give you that fright,
we had our fights,
and we had our make up nights,
but today is the end,
cus now im home,
all alone,
and i like this feelin,
for now,
grey clouds cover my head,
and im lookin down,
but then again,
im lookin for another,
he should be somewhere in my town.

fantasy.

i never been the one to have plenty of friends.
i keep my little circle ,
and always keep it moving .
i can't stand people trying to think they know me.
A LOT of you don't even know half of my life story.
i live in an area , where people are invading my space.
i can't stand w/ people all in my face.
they think that this is their place,
please i hope you think twice.
this thing i got going is not stopping me for a little cat fight.
can't stand alotta bs , that is just standing in my lane.
i try n say I'm not going to be the same.
same who?
same what?
same person they are.
i live in a fantasy world w/ alot of race cars.
race cars that move fast , that's my type of pace love.
i like to be going and keep it moving.
as if my lane is clear,
i see something pass me ..
and then I'm almost there.
almost where?
..to the finish line,
exactly where i want to be .
I'm letting life be known,
this is my type of fantasy.

this way.

you make me feel this way,
i like this way,
i wanted this way,
i put in effort to get this way..
with you,
only you,
you,you,you.
every time we see each other,
every time we talk to each other,
makes me feel this way.
at times i get butterflies,
especially looking in your eyes.
but then i feel this way.
this way, not that way.
this actual way,
do you want to know what way,
i don't think i can tell you.
but yet again i think you feel this way also.
i love you.
yea i do, i do.
this is kinda deep,
but its deep only because of you.

my art.

can i tell you something ,
its not a secret,
i see it as a new beginning,
hey a fresh start,
something i like to call art.
art as in not the drawings.
art as in the writings.
art can be considered everything.
it depends how you want to express it.
i express my art..
through my heart.
it flows ,
my flow is very slow,
but w/ a steady beat.
it goes bump bump bump.
something i like to call amazing.
my flow tends to mess up at times.
i never understand why? ..
i seem to be stuck w/ the same answer everytime.
and thats ..
just me expressing my art once again .

think about it.

you ever been called fake?
i mean honestly who hasn't ..
but YET again, there has to be a reason RIGHT ?

ok .. so i have done some fake things in my life,
but i learn from my mistakes.
and you can't sit here and read this and say you have not !

anyway as i was saying,
people can be phony in different situations.

like this one ..
um .. ever had someone try to be your friend .. REAL CLOSE..
just to get CLOSE to what you GOT?
.. i have.
you have.
maybe you never noticed?
maybe you never acknowledged the fact that this is capable of happening.
but yet, it is.
its bad.
that's bad.
.. who does that?
now i haven't.
you have to be real with someone if this is the case.
and tell them you want "so & so" ..
it makes you look bad
because maybe that person isn't STUPID.
and can notice what you are doing.

are you slow?
you want to loose a friend over what?
stupidness.
if you want happiness?
& the person already found happiness in what they already got.
then why ruin it?
makes you look bad.
you look little.
=/

real little.
grow up.
everyone got older.
this isn't for drama.
this is for advice.
stop making your self look as tiny as your pupil is.
and that is small.

but YET think about it.

what are you?!

I don't feel like writing about love.

I want to write about something .. hm DiFFERENT . .
ya know that word? D i F F E R E N T.
i made the "i" smaller than the rest of the letters because ..
you CAN NOT be DiFFERENT without being Independent="i"

I mean .. a lot of people ARE NOT.
honestly being DiFFERENT includes being yourself.
if you don't act yourself, and act like somebody..
hm i wonder what you got?
just a fake life.
..walk around fake,sit down fake, breathe fake air etc.
and I'm serious.

whats the point?
i thought people should act their selves.
but YET i lie, because there are SO MANY followers its ridiculous..
honestly this isn't twitter.
this is life.

right?
or wrong?
.. could i be wrong?
is everyone a duplicate of another person?
>>i wonder if i am.
wait i know I'm not.
.. I'm sure I'm not.
100 percent sure.
are you?
..look in the mirror .
you may not think you are if you look at yourself.
cus i mean who looks like you?
except you?
but YET how about your insides?
..your actual pride?
are you proud of who you are?
is another person your cure?
cure to life?
.. hm i wonder.
do you wonder?
..

bestfriend.

im bored.
i start to write.
i turn my head.
my phone starts to ring.
its you.
nope.
i lied.
its my friend.
i say hello.
and then i hear goodbye.
why?
i can't even hear any other words.
you aren't my bestfriend.
you're more than that.
like my sister.
i miss you.
but yet i hate you because you aren't here.
you're not even near.
not even on punishment or etc.
where could you be?
why did you leave?
why'd you have to go so far?
i miss you my love.
you know everything about me.
along with the others.
the 3 others.
i love them too.
but i see them constantly.
but you are no where near me.
can you call sometime?
tell me how you are doing?
tell me you miss me too?
or do you have to go?
go again.
now go.

first choice.

im next to you.
i don't know if you like that feeling or not.
i think you want me to go away.
wait why can't i just stay?
its not your decision .
to make me go in another direction.
am i right ?
or am i wrong?
maybe i just like this feeling.
cus i haven't seen you in a minute.
i miss us.
no wait maybe i just miss you.
i can't stand..
how we are distant from eachother.
but maybe YOU can.
haha remember are times?
all of our times?
the fights.
the makeups.
the misery.
but the love.
maybe the trust.
definitely the lust.
i think i should leave you alone.
you have alot of females wanting to be on that throne.
with you.
i had my chance.
and i don't think i do anymore.
but you were my heart.
my sweet-heart.
you had me complete.
but this is the last time we shall meet.
meet eye to eye.
not voice to voice.
i love you boy.
remember you were always my first choice.

emotions run wild.

you look so good today boy, really ;
hm. . i just wonder should i tell you , or keep it to myself.
i love you.
no i hate you.
i love you though.
but i can't stand you.
i want to kiss you, but this wall between us won't let me.
funny i see you from a distance.
I'm surprised, goodness I'm very interested.
i want you to see me.
wait never mind i don't.
I'm scared, i just hope i don't blush.
wait maybe i will just walk by.
maybe say hi.
you're alone this is the perfect time.
I'm ready.

so i get up.
i seem to be stuck.
I'm standing can i move please.
i see you looking dead at me.
I'm frozen,
this is bad!
worse than that.
i miss you.
but i see that other girl kissing you.

jibberish.

first you talked to me, i was excited . actually enthusiastic. you made me smile, w/ your sweet voice, had me thinking there was more to us than what we have now. I liked your smell, made me feel like there was no hell .. you were my heaven. I gave you a kiss right on your cheek, you told me i was special. we spent every moment together, i was even the first one to tell you "i love you" , you took it as if it was real, and which it was i loved you more & more we spent time together. i wanted you w/ me. never no one else. i have mixed emotions towards you though, i can't help that I'm still shy around you, its just the way you make me feel. I act my self, you take it as if its the real deal . next thing you know a couple years later .. and you're gone. Ever felt this way? sure you have. mixed emotions are horrible, anybody that amazing .. leaving you . can make you feel lost,sad,disappointed,zoned out.. and etc. what a horrible feeling .

What is love?

hm .. i have a quote i made myself about love : "love is a four letter word, w/ multiple definitions. you can live it up w/ love just on one condition, you have to promise to keep that love because you don't want nobody in depression. love is something serious, and needs you to make real decisions ." -a nicolette original . thats exactly how i feel about love. BUT then again NO ONE really knows what love is ! right? theres so many different ways to show love, feel love, give love, make love .. its all in YOUR heart. the way you see it is different in your eyes, her eyes, his eyes .. everybody's eyes . and its in your HEART , i know that. because love can never EVER be in your head. you don't think love , you can't think love . .you have to know love & and that is in your heart. Something special , you can't give up . Once you love .. you can love again . But I promise it won't be the same love you had in the beginning for that person before. First love, is absolutely the best , it makes the biggest smile appear your face .. heart beats as fast as it can. You can't stop thinking about that person , its something deep . You're never to young for love, i know that. Just know its in you, but be smart about it .. always go after what your heart tells you, because your mind is NEVER always correct.